Well, It is Just Taking a While.

I know I have been silent for a while about our life in general. I know that you know that we are going through the adoption process. I know that you know that Joel is still not home yet. Life has been hard. And when I sit down to write, though there are so many amazing, great things in our lives right now, what I contemplate are the difficulties. I have tried to keep our blog positive and mostly filled with thanks to God for what He has given us and done for us. And I really just wanted "the next post" to be one about Joel coming home. So excuse the silence as we learn to praise God and give thanks to Him for what He has given us and what He has done for us even when it is not what we want!

We were hoping (naively) that Joel would be home by last Christmas. We were hoping he'd be home by Eliah's birthday in February. We were hoping he'd be home by May...by the summer...by August, for sure...by his birthday in September.... Now we're hoping he'll be home by this Christmas.

Here are a few things that have really spoken to my heart in this process. First of all, (as seemingly silly as it is to me to compare our process with the grief in this story--the message is still the same) God is still God and God is still good.

God is still God... (Denny Burk's blog)

And secondly, who ever said adoption was easy? God placed it on our hearts to adopt. He did not say that it was going to be easy. He never assured us that the road would be smooth. He just said, "Do," and we did. We (I) just assumed that because He called us to do this, that all the doors would be open and all the obstacles would be laid to waste in the wake of God's strong work--and that it would be done quickly. Well, a year and a half after starting the process... a year after first hearing of our son...six months after laying our eyes on him and holding him in our arms...we are starting to see that it is not quick nor easy and that adoption is hard.

"I'm Not Done Yet" (Jen Hatmaker's blog)

Those of you who know me, know that I am not an overly emotional person. I don't sob every time I think of Joel's precious face. I don't break down when someone asks me about the process (PLEAE don't stop asking!). I don't lose a whole lot of, though I do lose some, sleep over this. But this roller coaster ride has been hard! And God has been gracious through it all. He has put little comforts throughout the way. Like Joel's nanny who seems to love him so much. Like my precious daughter and husband who remind me of what I do have right here with me. Like great stories of God's work in lives like those mentioned above.

People say that it will all be worth it when Joel is finally home--and I agree. One friend who adopted said he would go through all of the hoops and so much more again just for the sake of his precious children. (Is that the gospel lived out, or what?!) But I have to say that it is all worth it NOW. Even before Joel is home. Knowing what I know now, I would not hesitate to do this process for Joel all over again. Our hearts are crazy in love with our precious son (brother, grandson, nephew, friend)! If it takes another year and a half (please, Lord Jesus, don't let it take that), it will still be worth it. So, Mamaw and Nana, take comfort that we have no regrets about accepting the referral for this particular little man. We would not trade him for an easier smoother adoption story. And we know that you probably have no regrets about it either! Thankful that we serve a sovereign God!